12 Hair Things Guys Don’t Really Care About


Care about your hair as much as you want. It’s your hair. Just keep in mind that while you’re stressing out for half an hour, no one else is going to notice your hard work. Especially not guys. Well… most guys. Some guys really, really, really like hair. Look it up. Just make sure you’re not at work when you do it.

But hair is one of those things that gets maintained because you notice every little imperfection, even though most people won’t. It’s kind of like when you have company coming over, but you realize your bathroom is a mess. So you rush to clean it, and then they come over, and don’t even use it. You just did that for your own peace of mind. Your hair is a bathroom. Never forget that. Your hair is a bathroom.

1. How many loose strands you have. Whatever you’re about to do with a hair tie or clip, just one attempt is likely enough to pass the scrutiny of any guy you’re sweating. It doesn’t have to be perfect. He’s not really going to notice unless he also has a pony tail. But at that point, you’re into guys with ponytails, so you have bigger problems to deal with anyway. No one can help you.

2. Your split ends. Ask a guy if he knows what split ends are. Go ahead, ask. Even if he does know, it’s not like he’s going to be groping at your hair all night and leave because each strand is too dry and damaged for his liking. Take care of your split ends at your leisure. Don’t freak out and shave your head right before your date over them.

3. How perfect your bun is. Literally building something out of hair is impressive enough. He’s not going to criticize your bun if it’s slightly “off,” or whatever the criteria for buns are.

4. If you’re having a bad hair day. Unless you somehow wound up in an oil slick and have gunk all up in your hair, people aren’t going to notice. Just avoid oil slicks, tar pits, dumpsters with extra old garbage in them (because of the slime) and even your worst hair day won’t be that bad. You’re welcome for the practical advice.

5. How shiny it is. Shiny hair is nice, sure. But men aren’t squirrels or babies or anything else that is attracted to shiny objects. So you’re fine here.

6. If you’ve got bedhead. Some people find bed head adorable. Plus, you just got out of bed, what were you expecting? The only time a guy is going to care about this is if you’re out getting drinks, and you excuse yourself to the bathroom, and then come back with bed head. He’s allowed to ask questions then.

7. Your weaves and hair extensions. He’s not going to notice a good weave or convincing hair extensions unless you wind up having really rough sex and he pulls it out. But at that point there’s really no going back.

8. How fancy your braid is. Those crazy tutorials look fun for you, but really it’s just another thing to accidentally put our elbow on during sex.

9. How long or short your hair is. Guys will always have a preferred length or a hair style they’re into, but it’s rarely going to be a dealbreaker. Hair length only becomes a legitimate reason to avoid someone when it’s grown past your feet and drags on the ground and is all dirty and matted. Basically, if you are feral and raised by wolves, you’re going to have a problem finding love. Just being real with you.

10. How curly or straight it is. Again, preferences abound, but no reasonable person is going to bail on their potential soulmate because they had curly hair. The key word here is reasonable.

11. What color you dye it. Seriously, as long as it looks good on you, we don’t care whether you go for stormy, ocean blue or blonde.

12. If you have hair. It’s not about the hair on your head, it’s about the hair in your heart, or something. Hair is a metaphor for love? The point is, there are way more important things in life than that.

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